Ok, so there's this boy. Yes, boy. He's almost 4 years younger than me, I mean he can't even drink yet... Anyways, there's something about him that lets me not forget him, EVER. It's strange because I've been with so many different men. I've had boyfriends, lovers, fuck-buddies, whatever. Some were older, a few were younger, single, married, dating, engaged, black, white, arab, hispanic, phillipino... Some were hot, some were not, but who's counting, right? Anyways, this one in particular, let's call him... Logan, is something amazing.
We met last year on a very busy night, we were both drunk, obviously, and I was taken back by how attractive he was, and how down to earth he was, that I couldn't stop staring. So... I invited him in. We hung out for a while, then went for a walk, and as soon as we walked out of the door he grabbed my face and started kissing me. I was SHOCKED to say the least and enjoyed it ever so much. He ended up staying the night and we had amazing sex. I, of course, saw him the next day at breakfast... And then again, and again, and again. We didn't actually hang out until a little while later, we were both in different groups and in our passionate doings, didn't exchange numbers. Then one day, it happened. We met up at a party and left together spending the night talking, smoking, and just kissing. His kiss by the way- is the perfect kiss. He kisses just like I do, and I know that sounds silly, but it makes it the perfect kiss and I melt every time. We had a few more midnight rendevous and slept together again.
Then, I graduated. Keep in mind we never talked about dating, AT ALL, and I was sort of seeing other people (ok, so I'm a little slutty) but he was always on my mind. And still is. I went home last weekend to celebrate my alma mater's homecoming, and ended up seeing him, and nothing happened. We had opportunity, but it just didn't happen. Needless to say I was a little disappointed. Then I started thinking about all of the times before, and he either just went for it hard or I made a move on him. This time I was waiting for him to and he didn't... and I think he was scared. Not like I'm some intimidating beauty or anything, but WHAT THE FUCK.
I thought about it more and more, and started remembering things. Like the way he was shaking the first time we did it, the way he just stares at me and smiles, how he would hold my hand when we would walk somewhere and I could feel his pulse racing. He is forever nervous around me. Then it dawned on me that I was the SECOND person he had ever been with. His first girlfriend was from high school and they went off to college together and then they broke up at the start of their second year, and I'm pretty sure that it was ALL her, because she soon after was with someone else. So I don't know if he doesn't know what to do around women, or if he likes me too much, or doesn't like me and wanted a rebound, or whatever. I do know that he doesn't talk to anyone else. I don't want to call and ask him about it because I love the flow of things they way they are when we are together and I don't wanna creep him out. I don't even know the next time I'll see him. I don't even know why I'm thinking about him. I've never even thought about my fucking boyfriends this much. It's so not me. What the fuck. I wish I knew what to do. How do you get someone out of your head who is so... phenomenal?